The Story of Br'er Oishi
by Tabis the Tabby
Summary: -Song of the South crossover- Br'er Fuji and Br'er Tezuka have been up to no good! Its up to good ol' Br'er Oishi to set them straight and protect the Seigaku Briar Patch! But those two rascals seem to have other plans! Oh no!


Ahem, first off.

**WARNING;** Highly potent crack, potential to ruin childhood, furries

Now that we've finished this. To understand this story, you must first understand its origins. I wrote my fanfiction _Capture! Double Teamed?_ and then my lovely friend, Gorgeous Gaku wrote me a fancomic for my fanfiction entitled _The Story of Br'er Oishi_ and then we collaborated and wrote a fanfiction for her fancomic with the same name.

We wrote a fanficcy for her fanpiccy of my fanficcy.

Yeah. Anyway, this does not actually have anything to do with my story other than the pairing, though in all honesty it is much more fun than my fanfiction. It also isn't as drawn out as you will no doubt see.

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Prince of Tennis, you should all be quite thankful for that. Nor do we own anything that has to do with Song of the South/Splash Mountain - that belongs to Disney.

**Written by:**

Tabis the Tabby and Gorgeous Gaku

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a little ol' town called the Seigaku Briar Patch. Now Seigaku was a fine little town, and lots of animals lived there, in the Seigaku Briar Patch. There was Br'er Eiji the bluebird, Br'er Inui the owl, Br'er Momo the raccoon, Br'er Taka-san the squirrel, Br'er Kaidoh and Br'er Ryoma the vultures, Br'er Fuji the fox, Br'er Tezuka the bear, and best of all, good ol' Br'er Oishi, the rabbit.

So Br'er Oishi was walking down the path in the town of Seigaku, waving to the other friendly Seigaku creatures. Everyone loved Oishi; he was so caring and cheerful and loved everyone in Seigaku. Everyone called Oishi the 'mother of Seigaku Briar Patch' and always went to him for advice.

Now, everyone in Seigaku was good and nice, except two shady animals, Br'er Fuji and his partner, Br'er Tezuka. These two fellows were sneaky, and cunning, and had one goal in life- to catch the rabbit, Br'er Oishi! So they planned, and they planned, and they spent all their time plannin' a way to catch that rabbit.

One day, Br'er Eiji had even tried to talk to Br'er Fuji. He asked, "Well the weather is good, and the tennis is fine, so what do you do, with all of your time?"

To which Br'er Fuji replied, "I get what I want." Br'er Eiji realized that ol' Br'er Fuji and Br'er Tezuka wouldn't stop at anything to catch that rabbit.

It just so happened that the next day Br'er Oishi was talkin' with one of his good and wholesome friends Br'er Eiji. But on this particular day Br'er Eiji was very upset about something. It seemed that Br'er Fuji and Br'er Tezuka were causing disturbances in the Seigaku Briar Patch.

"Well that's no good!" Br'er Oishi exclaimed with a gasp. "I should go have a word with those two fellows."

"Now wait a minute!" Br'er Eiji said. Br'er Oishi was always so helpful, but sometimes he got himself into real sticky situations. "Careful Br'er Oishi, better mend your ways. You're headin' for trouble one of these days!"

Now Br'er Oishi wanted to listen to Br'er Eiji's advice, but he also wanted to go give ol' Br'er Fuji a piece of this mind. Plus, it would be an adventure to travel through the Seigaku Briar Patch all the way to Br'er Fuji and Br'er Tezuka's hideout. And Br'er Oishi just couldn't resist a good adventure.

"I can't let them ruin the Seigaku Briar Patch!" Oishi said as he started to hop away. "It's time for me to be movin' along!"

As he flew off, Br'er Eiji said. "He's lookin' for a little more adventure, but he's headin' for a little bit of trouble. He's headin' for a little bit of danger, time to be turnin' around!"

Br'er Oishi began to wish he had taken Br'er Eiji's advice as he hopped down the crooked path to Br'er Fuji and Br'er Tezuka's hideout. To cheer himself he sang and laughed merrily to himself about the Joys of Tennis. Even when the Seigaku forest became darker and darker until he reached the bottom of the Hill where the two fiends lived, he just laughed harder. Above him on a gnarled branch sat two menacing vultures, Br'er Kaidoh and Br'er Ryoma.

"Looks like you finally found your laughin' place." Br'er Ryoma squawked at him.

"But you won't be laughin' for long!" Br'er Kaidoh smiled maliciously.

"Time to be turnin' around!" Br'er Ryoma smirked as he and Br'er Kaidoh flew off.

"He he he, if only you could!" Br'er Kaidoh snickered. "He he he he he!" And suddenly, Br'er Oishi was alone at the bottom of that hill, and he sure wasn't laughing any more. He slowly ascended the hill, clouds thundering around him.

As he got about half way the hill he noticed another gnarled tree. Sure enough those nasty vultures were perched on one of the branches and began snickering at him.

"I thought this was your laughin' place, Br'er Oishi!" said Kaidoh. "How come you ain't laughin'?"

"He he he he he he he!" laughed Br'er Ryoma, as the two flew off again.

So Br'er Oishi continued his journey up the hill, the clouds growing thicker around him. As he reached the entrance of the house he looked to see another gnarled tree and the vultures staring down at him from above.

"HA HAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA!" Laughed Br'er Ryoma.

Br'er Oishi gulped but went on and opened the door to the house and went inside. When the door shut, Br'er Kaidoh and Br'er Ryoma burst into laughter.

"HEHEHE HEHEHEHEHE HE!" Br'er Ryoma almost fell off his branch.

Br'er Kaidoh grinned. "Ooooh, he gonna get raped!"

When Br'er Oishi entered the house, he realized it was surprisingly normal. It was a cute little house with windows and a cute table and kitchen. There was a little TV set, and a vase filled with buttercups and foxgloves. Out of the corner of his eye though, Br'er Oishi saw something strange. There was a little stuffed animal that was pink and looked a bit like a dog or bear. The animal was underneath a box propped open with a stick, but unfortunately Br'er Oishi didn't see this and he dove to get the plushie. As he grabbed it, a string pulled the stick and the box snapped down over Br'er Oishi.

"Oh shi-" Br'er Oishi said before the box sealed him in.

Suddenly Br'er Fuji slinked out of the shadows, grinnin' like the Cheshire Cat.

"I finally got you, Br'er Oishi!" Br'er Fuji shrieked triumphantly, as he lifted poor Br'er Oishi from the box and tied him up. "You're MINE, Br'er Oishi, MINE!"

"You know what we do to little rabbits like you…" Grinned Br'er Tezuka as Br'er Fuji laughed demonically behind him.

"Um, roast them?" Gulped Br'er Oishi fearfully.

"Oh no, we ain't gonna roast you, Br'er Oishi!" said Br'er Fuji.

"Yeah, what he said." agreed Br'er Tezuka. "We gonna have a bit of fun with you, that's all."

"We're gonna…" Br'er Fuji leaned over and whispered in Br'er Oishi's ear. The poor rabbit blushed as he realized what 'a bit of fun' meant.

"Oh no! Anything but that, Br'er Fuji!" Br'er Oishi said as his two captors grabbed him and carried him off to a nice, safe bedroom. "Oh don't let him do it, Br'er Tezuka!"

Br'er Tezuka smiled, not saying a word. Because, you know, he wanted it just as badly as Br'er Fuji did. The bedroom was full of scented candles, rose petals and filled with the sounds of smooth jazz.

Meanwhile outside of the window sat those two rascals, Br'er Kaidoh and Br'er Ryoma. They laughed because they knew exactly what was happening to Br'er Oishi right now.

"Ooooh, they gonna get him so bad!" Br'er Kaidoh said as he peeked into the window and grinned again.

"Hahahahaha haha!" agreed Br'er Ryoma as he joined Kaidoh in his peeping tom-ness.

--

"Ooooooooooh! Ohhh! Br'er Fuji! Br'er Tezuka!"

"Wha- what are you gonna – OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"Aaaah! This is wrong! Oooooh - but its so good!"

--

Later that night, they were lying together basking in the afterglow. Br'er Oishi looked as Br'er Fuji, and then at Br'er Tezuka, and smiled.

"So, the whole time, you guys really liked me?" asked Br'er Oishi.

"Oh yes," replied Br'er Tezuka, "We sure liked you a whole lot."

"Why do you think we caused all that trouble?" said Br'er Fuji. "You didn't seem to notice when we sent you all those love letters."

"In case you didn't realize, I'm too busy solving everybody else's problems," sighed Br'er Oishi. "I guess I never really got around to checkin' my mail box, Br'er Fuji."

Br'er Fuji smiled, and didn't say anything more. They lay in bed, falling asleep together.

"By the way," Br'er Oishi yawned, "I love you both."

"And we love you, Br'er Oishi." Said Br'er Tezuka and Br'er Fuji as they drifted off to sleep wrapped in each other's arms.

--

The next morning, after Br'er Oishi had left Br'er Fuji and Br'er Tezuka's house, he hopped on back to the Seigaku Briar Patch, singing and smiling as he hopped. Br'er Eiji, who was perched on the branch of a cherry tree, noticed Br'er Oishi and fluttered on over to him as quick as his wings could flutter. He settled down on to a low branch, and sang to himself happily.

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Br'er Oishi! You're ok! Oh, what a zip-a-dee-doo-dah day!" Br'er Eiji sang joyfully, "I'm just so happy that everything turned out alright! You've managed to escape from trouble yet another time! How did you do it?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," Br'er Oishi blushed, "I actually had a really good time!"

"W-what?!" Br'er Eiji nearly fell off his branch.

"Yup Br'er Eiji, you see, once I realized I couldn't run from them anymore, I had to face my fears! And you know what, Br'er Eiji? I found out that it wasn't that bad after all!"

"Ohhh, Br'er Oishi, it's just like I told you," Br'er Eiji smiled, "Ain't no place far enough to run from Br'er Fuji!"

And so that very next morning, Br'er Oishi let Br'er Tezuka and Br'er Fuji move into his house in the Seigaku Briar Patch. All the other critters realized how great the two were and they quickly became the best of friends. From then on they lived happily ever after and Br'er Oishi learned to check his mail box every day.

**THE END**

* * *

That my freinds, was our story. We sincerely hoped you enjoyed it and left with your childhood and brain intact.

**And so kids, the morals of the story are;**

_ Ain't no place far enough to run from Br'er Fuji_ and _Always check your mail box._

Love you dearies,

Tabis & Gaku


End file.
